I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
