So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
kristin has been a bad kristin
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
