THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
