First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
there was a trapeze. enough said
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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