walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
