I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
