I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I need a beard to bite.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
