Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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