It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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