I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
