Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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