He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
