so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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