i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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