Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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