That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
