I'm gonna have a badass scar
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
