How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
