So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize
