I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
