Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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