TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
