We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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