So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
