this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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