Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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