Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
