i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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