For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
