and you said cock pushups were impossible
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
As shirtless as possible
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
