i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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