i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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