I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
