Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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