nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
