what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
