the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
