She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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