So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
