I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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