apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
