I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
