carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
