A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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