you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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