My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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