I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
