ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
