After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
