so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
this hospital has no fireball
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
