i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
