she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
