i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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