I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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