Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
