Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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