I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I AM VODKA MAN
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
