You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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