I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
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the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
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i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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