32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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