just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
