Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize