i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
