saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize