who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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