I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
