Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
