On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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